i feel so unlike myself lately. i think im having issues regulating my emotions and feeling okay with. the way that im feeling. i dont really know when im actually sad or when i just feel like i should be sad so i tell myself im sad. ive felt really off lately and its just getting really horrible. i feel like im too old to be acting the way that i act. i dont do anything of value anymore i dont work i never go out alone i dont walk i dont even watch movies im always stagnant. i need to start doing more for myself and doing things because i want to. its like my brain and heart are two different forces always clashing. the things i want to do and the things i actually do are wildly different. because i never do anything. my brain tells me just do continue to do nothing and maybe if i just hope and wish hard enough someone else will drag me out of bed and make me do the things i want to do. but thats not how life works especially when you are grown. i need to start acting on my wishes. and going out and enjoying my life. i wont have any fun sitting around doing nothing.